This Weekend: It's Like Pride in February, and Gaycation Celebrates 7 Years!

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By Daniel Borgen, PQ Monthly
Real talk: it's hard to write a weekend forecast that's supposed to be a "barometer" for goings-on when you want to go to everything. (It's even harder to write one when your laptop goes to hell. Thanks, Flux, for bringing mine back to life.) It is one of those weekends where I wish my pockets sprouted endless cash monies and I could clone myself. And the clone could finish all my writing assignments for our next issue so I could stay up late each and every night. Let's get started (hint, you can click on the deejay links below and hear hot jamz in your cubicle all afternoon): Tonight: I'm not going to mention today's dreaded v-word, but I will say any couple worth their weight in vodka will be at I've Got a Hole In My Soul. It's the place to shimmy and shake off the evening's fondue (or whatever the hell it is you couples eat) as Beyondadoubt and Primo help you leave everything on the dance floor. Hole In My Soul dedicates tonight's "celebration of stompin' 60s soul and hard R&B 45s to the brokenhearted, the hopeless romantics, and the music lovers everywhere." That's pretty much all of you, right? Right. Party-goers are encouraged to dance into the front door. Thursday (tonight), 9pm. Holocene, 1001 SE Morrison. $5.  Friday: I'd also like to use my clone tonight, please. Dress Code, where "costume/costumery/expressive drag" is mandatory, goes down at Funhouse Lounge, where more and more queer events seem to be headed. There's a variety of entertainment on tap for this debauched night of dreams, including deejays, Serendipity Jones, Austin Tatious, Trim Jones, and more. Do not even think of attending without appropriate garb. These kids mean business. Read their invite if you don't believe me. Friday, 10pm, Funhouse, 2432 SE 11th. Sliding scale, $3-$10, all depending on your presentation. It's all in your hands. Ruthless: queers for days and dayz. Two of the cities most prolific deejays--Ill Camino and Bruce LaBruiser--make you move all the night long. What do they play? "Only the fiercest jams all night: house, electro, pop, hip hop, we do what we want." Was there ever any doubt? Great news: this one's cover-free, so you can save your singles for tipping the music-makers. Friday, 10pm, Local Lounge, 3536 NE MLK. Free.  Saturday: This one's going to be ridiculous. Gaycation celebrates seven epic years with seven deejays--just about all you can take. Seriously, look at this lineup: Pocket Rock-It, Goss'p Cat, Roy G Biv, Ill Camino, Bruce LaBruiser, Snowtiger, and Mr. Charming. Remember this interview with the Charming (and Roy G Biv)?: "To me, hosting a queer night is a way to create a space where we can come together, dance, and not be too lofty — but maybe forget about the rest of the shitty straight world for awhile." Come see the duo in action, and see the sweaty glory that seven years built. Saturday, 9pm, Holocene, 1001 SE Morrison. $5.  Nuttz 2 Buttz: Um, this night features an ass-shaking competition. Real contest, with real prizes. You may shudder to think, but we bet you can't look away. In addition to the usual suspects--Maricon's Moisti and Ill Camino--Bridge Club's Hold My Hand will be around, too. This night, they'll be living up to that nefarious name. Saturday, 10pm, Eagle, 835 N. Lombard. $3.  Sunday (see also: no rest for the queers): Hot Chocolate: Black on Broadway. This, dearests, is everything. Anyone who's seen Hot Chocolate before (remember that Whitney tribute last year?!) knows these girls bring it. It's Poison Waters, Maria, Tiara Desmond, Kourtni Capri Duv, and Alexis Campbell Starr celebrating "sisterhood" and a "mutual love of entertaining in a prideful tribute to African-American females on Broadway." They plan on having special guests, too. I'm living for this, and even informing visiting relatives I'm unavailable Sunday. Sunday, 5pm, Darcelle's, 208 NW 3rd. $10. Get there early, there's always a line to get in.  Finish your weekend on the best note ever. HRC'S Annual HerHRC Dance Extravaganza! Are you ready to Bhangra dance the night away? Bid on spectacular auction items? Witness one of the most amazing break-dancing contests ever? Portland's own sexy, sassy DJ Anjali will be spinning and teaching you sweet Bhangra dance moves, a "type of high energy Bollywood music mixed with hip hop." Additionally, organizers are working on an epic break-dancing showdown--winner gets a cash prize. All the queers and allies you can imagine pack into Lola's Room for this once-yearly night-of-all-things. Although you're encouraged to dance, you can sit back and socialize, too. There'll be plenty of timid folk there, too. (Organizers already have hundreds of RSVPs--not too shabby for a Sunday night.) Check out the invite here and buy tickets here. We've labeled this one "can't miss." Sunday, 7pm, Lola's Room, 1332 W Burnside. $9.99.  OK, time for me to take a deep breath. (See? It's like Pride weekend in February--complete with that good kind of tired.)