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shorty shortsBy Daniel Borgen, PQ Monthly
PQ Picks Saturday, March 22: Fotografie. Calling all glamour gods, creatures and superstars needing a photo session. Let Shorty Shorts create a new you with our hair and make-up team, or just get captured the way you are. For one evening, Ivan Dollar Salon will be transformed into Eric Sellers and his team’s portrait studio. The lens will be open to you. Eric Sellers (Gula Delgatto) is a local designer, photographer and founder of Shorty Shorts, a Portland based queer film festival showcasing talent from our community. This is an open call to anyone wanting to be a part of this photo performance benefit with a gallery reception to be held at a later date. More info about the event/packages here: Friday, March 28 chicken strip imageChicken Strip celebrates its one year anniversary. (Have your cake and eat it too, queens.) We are here to LIVE, not wither. Gather for the one year anniversary of this thing we call Chicken Strip and help blast it off into another year. And look who’s here: AMBROSIA SALAD (LA/SF). Featuring: Melody Awesomazing (Host), Serendipity Jones, Bomb Ass Pussy, DieAna Dae, Stacy Stl Lisa, House Of Aquarius. Music: Dj Sappho (Lofty Deep House) &Roy G Biv (Italian & French Disco set). I need a nap just thinking about it. 9:30pm, Funhouse Lounge, 2432 SE Eleventh. $5. Friday, April 4: “New York†descends upon our fair city to judge the H.B.I.C. Drag Ball. (Real thing!) New York is in the damn house, children. The original queen of reality TV. (There’s a meet and greet portion, never fear.) Musical guests (Boy Funk and Rap Girl), deejays (Nark, Ill Camino, and more), competitors (Shitney Houston, Lulu Lusciouss, and many more), portraits, photos, all of the things. $10 cover, $25 for the meet and greet portion. 8pm, Rotture, 315 SE Third. All your ticket/event info is right here: flavorDance It Out First Sundays Bridge Club. A slew of stellar deejays play music on the city’s most treasured patio. Old Boys Club regularly welcomes special guests. Snack, mingle, get down. Bridge club is delighted to announce its permanent new home—Vendetta! 3pm, Vendetta, 4306 N Williams. Free Every Sunday. Superstar Divas. Bolivia Carmichaels, Honey Bea Hart, Topaz Crawford, Isaiah Tillman, and guest stars perform your favorite pop, Broadway, and country hits. Dance floor opens after the show. The Drag Queen Hunger Games are over, and the shows must go on! Check out the newest and freshest Diva hits. 8pm, CC Slaughters, 219 NW Davis. Free! Ceremony at Black Book. Obscure Indie/Disco/Vinyl-only dance party. DJ Travis Blue. 9pm, Black Book, 20 NW Third. Free. Every Monday Watch Drag Race at Local Lounge, The Rainbow Room, or Scandals. (Lots of Drag Race parties.) First Thursdays Portland Idol: (This is every Thursday) CJ Mickens teams with Justin Buckles to give you 12 weeks of competitive, American Idol-inspired performances. Theme changes week to week, but the energy never does. Go see what hidden talents are unleashing their gifts upon you. 9pm, Funhouse Lounge, 2432 SE Eleventh. Dirt Bag. Keyword: Bruce LaBruiser. She’ll make all your musical dreams come true. Indie, pop, electro, all of it. Dance to the gayest jams. 10pm, The Know, 2026 NE Alberta. Free. Hip Hop Heaven. Bolivia Carmichaels hosts this hip-hop-heavy soiree night every Thursday night at CCs. Midnight guest performers and shows. 9pm, CC Slaughters, 219 NW Davis. Free. First Saturdays Sugar Town. DJ Action Slacks. Keywords: Soul, polyester. 9pm, The Spare Room, 4830 NE 42. $5. Maricón! Ill Camino rotates special guests and reinvents Crush with his beloved once-monthly dance party. (Moisti will still make cameos.) For homos and their homeys. 10pm, Crush,1400 SE Morrison. $3. Second Thursdays I’ve Got a Hole in My Soul. Three keywords, the most important being: DJ Beyondadoubt. Others: soul, shimmy. 9pm, Holocene, 1001 SE Morrison. $5. Second Tuesdays Bi Bar—every second Tuesday at Crush, and it’s an open, bi-affirming space for music and mingling. Correction: Bi/Pan/Fluid/Queer. 8pm, Crush, 1400 SE Morrison. Second Fridays Slo Jams is a Queer Modern R&B & Neo Soul Dance Night at Local Lounge. DJ II TRILL (TWERK) and DJ MEXXX-TAPE lay down everything from Mary J // Jagged Edge// Keyshia to Badu//Lauryn Etc. 10pm, Local Lounge, 3536 NE MLK. $5. Second Saturdays Hot Flash: Inferno. (Second and Fourth Saturdays) In the heart of Portland is where the women are—dancing the night away and burning up dance floors the second and fourth Saturdays of every month at Trio. Welcoming all women, queers, and their allies. 6pm-10pm, Trio, 909 E. Burnside. Mrs.: The queen of theme welcomes its new hostess, Kaj-Anne Pepper! And dynamic DJ duo: Beyondadoubt and Ill Camino. Costumes, photo booths, all the hits. 10pm, Mississippi Studios, 3939 N. Mississippi. $5. Third Wednesdays Comedy at Crush: Belinda Carroll and a slew of locals rustle up some funny. Special guests, and Crush’s signature cocktail and food menus. Donations, sliding scale. (Comics have to eat and drink, too!) Crush, 1400 SE Morrison. Beat It at Black Book: Samuel Thomas has a beautiful new night all for you at one of the city’s most exciting new(ish) venues. (Sundays are real, real gay.) A monthly event celebrating everything from beards and tattoos to butch queens. Mark your calendars: THIRD Sundays. Hosted by JC Powers, killer deejays. 7pm, Black Book, 20 NW Third. $3 (free if you have a mailed invite) Third Thursdays Polari. Troll in for buvare. Back-in-the-day language, music, and elegance. An ease-you-into-the-weekend mixer. Bridge Club boys make the music. Bridge and tunnel patrons have no idea what to do with us when we pour in. Hint: it’s always the Thursday we go to press. 10pm, Vault, 226 NW 12. Free. Third Fridays Ruthless! Eastside deluxe. DJs Ill Camino, Rhienna. Come welcome new resident deejay Rhienna and listen to the fiercest jams all night long. Keyword: cha cha heels. 10pm, Local Lounge, 3536 NE MLK. $3. Third Saturdays Burlescape! Burlesque & boylesque wrapped in a taste of tease! Zora Phoenix, Isaiah Esquire, Tod Alan. (And there’s more than that, kids.) Zora is a treat and a treasure—and so are her shows. Try one out! 9pm, Crush, 1400 SE Morrison. $10. Gaycation all you ever wanted. DJ Charming always welcomes special guests. (For January, Mary welcomes DJ K. Marie and Troubled Youth.) Be early so you can actually get a drink. Sweaty deliciousness, hottest babes. THE party. 9pm, Holocene, 1001 SE Morrison. $5. Fourth Thursdays Monsteroki. You read it right. Gula Delgatto hosts an evening involving her own special brand of karaoke. Sometimes she decides the song, sometimes you do. (She sings! She dances!) 9pm, Crush, 1412 SE Morrison. $3. Fourth Fridays Twerk. DJs ILL Camino and II Trill. Keywords: bring your twerk. The city's longest-running queer hip hop/R&B party--where artists, deejays, performers come to mix, mingle, and move on the dance floor. Established fun, all night long. 9pm, Local Lounge, 3536 NE MLK. $5. Fourth Saturdays Blow Pony. Two giant floors. Wide variety of music, plenty of room for dancing. Rowdy, crowdy, sweaty betty. 9pm, Rotture/Branx, 315 SE 3. $5. Last Thursdays Laid Out, Bridgetown’s newest gay dance party. Seriously, the posters read: “gay dance party.†Deejays Gossip Cat and Pocket Rock-It, with photos by Eric Sellers. 9pm, Holocene, 1001 SE Morrison. $3 after 10pm. Note: It is utterly impossible to include all events in print, so stay with us online for updates. Look for the “weekend forecast.†Thursday, March 20 Daniel Borgen will be taking in Hawaiian beaches (and gentleman, one hopes). PQ Monthly Press Party: Mix and mingle with the makers of your favorite queer newspaper—writers, artists, this party has it all. This goes down every third Thursday, at rotating venues. (Mark your calendars.) You’ll never know who you’ll gaze at from across the room, maybe it’s your new soul mate. This month: The Bitter End. (I’m celebrating our return to the West Side!) 5pm-7pm(ish), 1981 W Burnside. Free, clearly. Free HIV & STD Testing: Committed to the health of Portland’s community, Hawks PDX offers both free HIV and STD testing, twice monthly. Presented in conjunction with Cascade AIDS Project and Multnomah County Health Department, you can check your status to protect your health and those you play with, as well as speak to counselors if you have questions. Hawk’s PDX, 234 SE Grand. Dark Night of the Soul III: What started as a kernel of an idea by our beloved Jason Myers has turned into a storytelling behemoth. No matter the incarnation, Home Theatre System delivers. From the architect himself:  Back for a second year, Home Theatre System proudly presents another storytelling experiment in stand-up tragedy. Watch these queer men flaunt their shame, heartache, and failure as they take off their “mascs†with nonfiction tales of vulnerability and darkness. Last one! Testify takes over soon. 8pm, Old Town Floyd’s, 118 NW Couch. $5 Friday, March 21 Twirl Spectacular! A benefit for Soulforce. Justin Buckles has teamed with Ecstacy Angel Hanson Esmé Rodríguez, Valerie DeVille, Jayla Rose Sullivan, and APHASIA Piwacket Extraordinaire to bring you a titillating night of dreams—and all for a good cause. Soulforce is a national non-profit that works nonviolently to end the religious and political oppression of LGBTQ people. 9:30pm, Funhouse Lounge, 2432 SE Eleventh. Google Soulforce. You’ll be glad you did. Saturday, March 22 Blowpony celebrates its seventh anniversary. (Congrats, kids, on many years of making Portland very fucking weird and queer.) In the past 7 years, this party has hosted more astoundingly wonderful performers than we can possibly begin to list here. This night will be no exception on the talent front—Double Duchess (SF) and Man Up (BC) are slated to headline. 9pm, Rotture, 315 SE Third. $5. Sunday, March 23 Darcelle’s All-Ages Show! Join Peacock Productions, Inc. and Darcelle XV & Company for the 19th Annual All Ages—1 to 100—get to see the magic of Darcelle’s. Doors at 5pm, show at 6pm. $5.00 donation at the door to benefit the Audria M. Edwards Scholarship Fund. Darcelle XV Showplace, 208 NW Third. Thursday, March 27 Laid Out celebrates Spring Break! And welcomes Mr. Charming to the decks. We sprung forward & if that's not a reason to party, really not sure what is. We are pretty fucking ready to celebrate the return of spring. So, let's get shirtless about it! 9pm, Holocene, 1001 SE Morrison. $5. Friday, March 28 Wine, Words, and Song! A Zine Symposium fundraiser. The Portland Zine Symposium is one of the coolest things that happens in the city all year, and small-press folks from all over look forward to this year’s installment with baited breath.  Help make sure it occurs—and enjoy some unique musical and vinous offerings—by attending this! The Independent Publishing Resource Center, 1001 SE Division Street, Portland. 7 PM, donation. (See Arts Briefs for more.) The Cockpit: Your landing party. Monika MHz, Dan Craig, Derek Pavone, and Chelsea Starr all light up your night. The place where Seattle and Portland join forces! 9pm, Rotture, 315 SE Third. $5. Saturday, March 29 Sprung: Fundraiser for Butch Voices. Queer burlesque from Lily Divine Productions and a sexy date auction and raffle—all proceeds support BUTCH Voices. 7pm, Crush. Tickets: Q Center Winter Gala Afterparty: Tickets are just $25—take part in this fun night of raising money to support the programs and services of Q Center. Starts at 9:30pm, features DJ Gino Mari on decks and dessert by Hungry Hero Dessert Co. Castaway, 1900 NW 18. Big Sexy: A Sexy Showcase of the Fat and Fabulous: IT'S BACK with MAXIMUM FATITUDE! A talent show for chubby hotties with incredible talent of all types. And all for no cover. Hosted by the fantastic Nikki Lev, pre- and post-dance party supplied by DJ Aurora. Along with some incredible performances. 9pm, Local Lounge, 3536 NE MLK. Sunday, April 6 “Next Fall,†(I’ve been dying to see it.) BRO talkback/fundraiser: Saturday, April 12 Lumbertwink turns into Slumbertwink (see what they did with the name there): It's time to cuddle up to a neighbor, as your favorite neighborhood plaid party turns into SLUMBERTWINK! Get your pajamas or Snuggie on and get discounted admission at the door. 9pm, Funhouse Lounge, 2432 SE Eleventh. Thursday, April 17Oregonians Against Discrimination “Creating a Legacy for Change.†Business Leaders Luncheon—mark your calendars and procure your tickets. Tickets and info here: Monday, April 21 Gay Skate, sponsored by yours truly (PQ Monthly). Every third Monday. Join Sock Dreams, the Rose City Rollers, and all the amateur skaters in the city at the one and only queer skate night. Work muscles you never knew you had — I know this is where you’ll meet your next life partner. Innocent, yesteryear fun at one of the last all-ages, booze-free events. 7-9pm, Oaks Park, 7805 SE Oaks Park Way. $6. All ages.